Ugly IX – ‘Gordita Girl’

Champions – Kevin McGovern & Trevor Jares

Ridgeview Ranch Golf Club
Allen, TX
October 8, 1999
(L) OU 28 – TX 38

1999 was the last year we played at Ridgeview. And as of 2004, it just also happens to be the last time the Sooners lost to Texas.

Two of Bain’s buddies, Kevin McGovern and Trevor Jares fired a smooth 2 Under to take first place honors.

However, the highlight of the weekend was the now infamous “Gordita Incident.” At the time I was dating this wonderful woman – pretty, successful and as a bonus, she loved beer. I figured I was set.

It was the night before the ’99 Ugly, and per usual, we met at Stan’s Blue Note for the Traditional Thursday Night Gathering. At the end of the evening we, along with Easley, made a necessary detour through the local Taco Bell.

Now this woman I was dating was wonderful and all, but she was afflicted with a certain disease. She was female. And as EVERY female is wont to do, she refused to order up when asked at the drive thru – as evidenced by the conversation below:

Cook: “Honey, what do you want?”  
GF: “Oh, nothing. I’m not hungry.”
Cook: “Are you sure? You like Gorditas.”
GF: “No, it’s late. They will just make me fat.”

Simple enough right?

Nope.

We get home, unpacked our bounty of Gorditas and soon thereafter I ducked into the head. As I come out of the bathroom, I see this wonderful woman eating Easley’s Gordita. She knew it would piss me off if she even asked for a bite of mine. So, instead she kipes one off my Padnuh!

I’m sure it surprises no one that I proceeded to make an ass of myself.

It all worked out in the end. That wonderful, conniving woman became my wife the following year.