Worthy Uglies,

Christmas is only a few weeks away and it’s time for Santa to finalize his Naughty and Nice List. Below is a Roster of confirmed entries. Very Nice. Those who have already paid are highlighted in green. Very, VERY Nice. If your name’s in red, it’s time to ‘Pay Up Dekes‘. Entry fee is $125 and includes lunch. I don’t want cash so Venmo me:
@Jeff-Cook-OU.

NOTE I: If you have a Tee-Time and/or grouping preference and don’t see it noted on the Roster, let me know by the end of next week. If you plan to play, but haven’t signed up, let me know by the end of next week.

In addition to the unpaids, the Naughty List includes those who played last year but have yet to declare their attendance: Truscott, Winsky, Big Seacat Daddy, Rhodes, Captain Bonj and Geoff. ‘Sign Up Dekes‘.

NOTE II: There will be 2 Flights this year. The Good Flight is a 2 Man Best-Ball with a Shamble. The Ugly Flight is back in order and is a 2 Man Scramble. No Handicaps for either flight. Winners of the Good Flight will split 65% of the Prize Pool and the Ugly Flight splits 35%. We’re not talking Elon Musk money here, so pick whichever flight you like. I don’t give a shit.

Lastly, there will be a return of the Thursday Night Extravaganza. It’ll be at Top Golf located at Park and Abrams Rd in the central part of Dallas. I need a headcount for this so I can reserve bays. It’ll start at 9pm with a New Event called ‘The Dry Heave’ to begin at 10:30pm. This is gonna be a good one so if you plan to attend… by now you know the drill.

NOTE III: TEXAS SUCKS!!!

Duties Performed

Cook out.

Ugly IV – ‘The Mayor Rides Again’

Champions – Brett Bonifay & Mike Pennington

Tenison Park West
Dallas, TX
October 7, 1994
(L) OU 10- TX 17

1994 saw the Ugly move yet again. Trying to appease the growing number of degenerates who required alcohol (the first three years were played at “dry” courses), we played Lee Trevino’s old home course, Tenison Park in South Dallas.

Tenison sports my favorite feature in an Ugly course – a tough par 3 for the 18th hole. This allowed one and all to gather and heckle all players as they finished. But, Ugly IV is remembered for several other reasons:

1. Brett Bonifay and Mike Pennington took the team honors.
2. “The Mayor” Hayes and Jason Dixon were almost arrested (as you will see, another growing trend) for driving their golf cart across a major road to get to the Red Coleman’s and buy another bottle of Jack for the back nine.
3. Hayes and Dixon then almost destroyed their cart by guzzling the whiskey, driving down a steep hill, while trying to slalom through the trees.
4. We beat the living crap out of Tim Pennington in a driving rain just because it happened to be his birthday.

You can choose your favorite, but Ugly IV was a tournament of legendary proportions. That is until…

Ugly III – ‘The Apple and the Tree’

Champions (TIE) – Mark Kaiser & Steve Shibley 
Todd Cook & Jeff Brown

Sherrill Park Golf Course
Richardson, TX
October 8, 1993
OU 38 – TX 17

From what you will find is a growing trend, Indian Springs thought it would be wise for us to hold the third Ugly somewhere else. So, thinking I could stack the odds in my favor, we gathered at my old home course in Richardson, TX.

As luck would have it, the odds were not in my favor that day. We did however have the first tie in the history of the Ugly.

Mark Kaiser and Steve Shibley had carded a two over 74 and were the leaders in the clubhouse. My brother Todd and his partner Jeff Brown were the last group with a chance to win.

They came to the last hole needing a birdie three to tie. Disproving the theory “The apple don’t fall far from the tree,” Todd knocked in an 18 foot slider to share the victory with Kaiser and Shibley.

Sherrill Park is Todd’s old home course too.

Ugly II – ‘Yip City’

Champions – Barry Carter 
and Rob Coffey

Indian Springs Golf Course
Carrollton, TX
October 9, 1992
(L) OU 24 – TX 34

Word spread (barely) the next year. This time, 22 of us returned to Indian Springs for Ugly Round 2. Another Chamber of Commerce type day and on the 18th hole, Carter really pulled one out of his ass.

I was on the green in regulation and Carter was on the green laying three, 45 feet from the hole. Bain and I were already starting to count the money. We should have known better.

Carter stroked a bomb right into the back of the hole for a par but we were still in good shape. Up by one, all I had to do was 2 putt from 25 feet to win.

Not only did I fail to 2 putt, I missed a 4 footer to tie and thus 4 putted for a double bogey six, snatching victory straight out of the jaws of defeat.

This began my long history with the yips and it could be said that I never recovered.

Ugly I – ‘The Twin Cities’

Champions – Greg Cross (“Minneapolis”) 
and Bret Hayes (“St. Paul”)

Indian Springs Golf Course
Carrollton, TX
October 11, 1991
(L) OU 7 – TX 10

Looking back, it’s hard to believe this little shindig started 30 years ago. As I recall, it was an impromptu gathering the year after many of us graduated from OU. I also remember the day was windy as hell.

This was smack in the middle of the Gary Gibbs’ years. Coach Gibbs was a solid coach and went on to a successful career in the NFL but he could never get over the Texas hump.

History records that 16 of us played that day and Cross and Hayes fired respective back nines of 38-36, so that meant we had not yet created Best Ball, Scramble or Beer Golf formats. Bowling, God forbid, wasn’t even a glimmer in my Shark Jumping eye at that time.

If you’ve never played Indian Creek, it’s tree-lined with a lot of water so ‘The Twin Cities’, as they are known in Newt Flag Football lore, played some really solid golf that day.

And of course, this was the day Cross shook his head and uttered, “Man, that was one big ugly.”

It was perfect. The name fit and the Ugly was on.

In the wake of Hurricane Ida, our game against Tulane has been officially relocated from New Orleans to Norman. Tulane will actually be the home team which will be unique.

However, the bookmakers don’t seem to impressed. Sooners have gone from a 21.5 Road Favorite to a 31.5 Home/Road favorite.

Word is the Sooners are only selling tickets in the Lower Bowl so capacity will be limited to 50-60k. Will we fill it up on last minute notice? My guess is yes.

Will we cover the 31.5? My guess is HELL YES!!

BOOMER

It’s been a couple of years but now is the time. Pandemic scham-demic. If the world ever needed an Ugly, it’s now. 2021 has made 2020 look like a popcorn fart.

Make your plans now and get your ass to Dallas for the second week in October. We’ll be teeing it up on Thursday night at the Katy Trail Ice House and again on Friday late morning at Stevens Park.

8am beers when Adair’s Saloon opens in Deep Ellum on Saturday and yet another 11am Rooster Kickoff in the Cotton Bowl.

It’s OU-Texas. It’s the Ugly. The time is NOW!

As kickoff approaches, Unca Jeff has a little tip for all of you. Put your goddamn phone in your pocket and keep it there. You’re never going to go back and watch a fraction of the events you think you need to film. Ain’t no one of Fakebook really cares if you’re at the game or taking a schit.

And this ESPECIALLY goes for the PGA galleries. You people look like fucking idiots. Put your phone in your fucking pocket. And keep it there.

The season is here and it’s time to start tailgating. I’m planning on doing most of it at home as that’s where the beer is coldest, the crowds are non-existent and I don’t have to hear about 1,000 in-stadium commercials and stupid-human promos. I couldn’t give a schit if little Jenny can throw a fooseball into a blown up Dr. Pepper can. Know what I mean???

Week 1 is upon us and we’re getting ready for the most glorious time of year. The Sooners look strong and are poised to challenge for yet another National Championship.

With a stout Defense and a Lincoln Riley Offense the Crimson and Cream are on everyone’s short list of NC contenders.

Can the good guys pull it off? Does a wild bear schit in the woods? I’m saying HELL YES!!!