‘Golf’ is NEVER, EVER a verb. We’re not ‘golfing’ today, just like you don’t ‘play on the wrestling team’. The only exception is when giving an extreme compliment: ‘He can golf that ball.’
No practice swings. Ever.
You don’t need to walk off your damn yardage. You’re probably going to shank it anyway, but if a miracle occurs and you hit it flush, you’ll likely chili-dip your next shot, and if not, you’ll certainly blade it over the green.
For God’s sakes, putt the damn ball!
It is considered poor manners to discuss swing flaws after you’ve cold-topped three in a row.
A simple roadmap to avoid Cross’ ill-intentioned foot, and/or his 7-iron
Format
This year we’re playing two Flights – the Good and the Ugly. Good Flight is a Shamble, 2 Man Best Ball. Pick the better of your two drives and then play your own ball from there. If any of that is a foreign concept, you may as well play Beer Golf and gamble amongst yourselves.
The Ugly Flight is a 2 Man Scramble.
Play it Up
Regardless of the Cross ‘One-Foot’ Rule, you can be certain the Uncle will improve his lie whenever he deems it necessary. You may as well do the same. As such, lies may be improved within one grip length, no nearer the hole, throughout the course EXCEPT in hazards (this includes sand traps) and on the green.
Tee Boxes
Both Flights will play the Blue Tees.
Speed of Play, Tournament Specials
- Max Score on a hole in the Good Flight is Double Bogey. Ugly Flight Max Score is Bogey.
- All 3rd Putts are considered GOOD in Both Flights.
- Lost Balls and O.B. shall be played as a Lateral Hazard
Playoffs
Every attempt will be made to play ties off on the golf course. However, in the event of darkness, course unavailability, etc… a playoff of some kind will be established by the Tournament Committee.
The Cross ‘One-Foot’ Rule
If any player brings a person of high skill in golf specifically to win the Ugly and there is no other value of having that person in the tourney, Cross will stick one foot in the said party’s ass at any time he feels necessary. If he is unable to perform such a task without fear of bodily harm, a seven-iron may be used instead his foot. (Sec 69, Part 2; Ugly Rules of Golf).”
USGA Rules
In all other cases, unless indicated on the Scorecard, USGA rules shall apply.
Disputed Rulings
In the case of any disputed rulings, the judgement of the Tournament Committee shall be final.
Uber
Please don’t drink and drive.
Tournament Committee
Cook.
Looking back, it’s hard to believe this little shindig started more than three decades ago. It was an impromptu gathering the year after many of us graduated from OU. I also remember the day was windy as hell and Cross called it ‘one Big Ugly’ and the Legend was born.
The 2025 Big Ugly 